It’s Not About You

Today I did a thing.  I mean, it was a little thing, but it was a big thing.  And it may seem like nothing at all to most people, but it has taken me 45 years and a pandemic to do it.  

Today, when someone was needlessly cranky and short-tempered with me, I did not take it personally. 

Not even for a moment.  I did not feel hurt by it. I did not internalize it nor let it linger.  I paused for mere seconds before telling myself, “It’s not about you”.  I then took a deep breath and released it completely.


It was so liberating.

“It’s not about you,” I said.  And it wasn’t.  And, what was even more remarkable:  I understood that completely.  

We are all hurting, grieving, mourning, struggling, worrying, needing, raging and reacting.  
We all just want to be near people again, to get out and live our lives, to forget that any of this has even happened.  

We all feel victimized.  
We all feel trapped. 
We’re in shock.
We’re scared.
We’re sad. 

We are experiencing trauma.

I'm not suggesting that we should allow people to treat us poorly.  On the contrary, we teach people how to treat us. However, the next time someone is cranky or short-tempered with you, try to not feel hurt by it. Do not let it linger. Instead, give that cranky person all of the love, understanding and compassion that you can muster and repeat after me: “It’s not about you”. 

And it really isn’t.

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